It was clear on our arrival that not many people were expected at Epworth vicarage. When we asked for light refreshments on arrival we were told there was the possibility of a cup of tea but no biscuits or we could go to the bakers and have a pasty warmed up. This was a cue to turn round and find sustenance elsewhere before what we assumed would be a relatively short time looking round the old vicarage.
Coffee and cake duly consumned we returned fortified for our visit. On payment yes we would gift aid! And then I asked the fatal question have you got a guide. I meant a booklet. 'Oh yes I will get you one when I Take you over to the house' was the reply.
On entering the hallowed hall we discovered no written guide as the lady went into a room and brought out Peter our guide. Introducing himself, and we did the same, it transpired he had been a member at one of my current churches. He announced the tour would take one hour and five minutes. Our hearts sank.
So began a very personal interpretation of the home of the Wesleys and the inhabitants. Trying to remain focussed and polite we were in fact trying to look at the various objects in the rooms and read information. This did not apparantly fit with how the tour should go. Fearing to answer questions asked of us in case we got them wrong or a test at the end, we had to at times feign ignorance about John Charles and co which was not easy for me.
At one point we were asked what we knew about John's love life. My response was 'he was a very naughty boy' 'well it depends what you mean by that' was his retort. Even Mr Wesley himself looked bored.
Gazing at the famous picture of John 'a brand plucked from the fire' I just wished I could be plucked away.
Is it a comode? No its what every minister needs to carry his bible on his horse.
So true to his word a good hour and five minutes the tour concluded. And not an American tourist in sight.
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